ReadingLipps

In college I waited on many tables for cash, here is the story of Table #155 in San Jose, ca. 2000.

A young well-dressed businessman came in to eat with three out-of-country business colleagues.  His young guests were in from India.  This is a common sight in San Jose where Indian technicians often come to work. These three Indian gentlemen had arrived before their American host and politely declined service until he arrived. 

            He finally arrived with cell phone pressed firmly against his head and ordered four Bock beers for his friends, plus a shot of Jack for himself.  He was ready to order as he sat down and blurted out an order of a hamburger with cheddar and mushrooms.  When I asked for the second man’s order, he was not sure and had not even looked at the menu.  I realized, as a waiter should, that none of these men were ready to order, and they all looked at the young American for guidance.

            “I’ll come back in a minute,” I said as I had a full section, all thirsty for beer.  I promptly returned with four Bock beers like the well dressed and cocky American had said.  As I placed them the Indian men glanced at each other and smiled at this John Wayne American who ordered beers for the table and then a shot of Jack Daniels for himself.  He also ordered burgers for everyone else. 

He pointed in turn at each of the visitors, “He’s got mushrooms and cheese, he’s got bacon cheese, and he’ll have just mushrooms.”

Now I may be a waiter, but I know a little more about this world than German-style lagers.  If these men are from India, then there is a good chance that they are Hindu and Hindus do not eat beef, as the cow is a sacred animal in Hinduism.  It occurred to me to ask if they knew this was a cow they ordered.  But as a waiter, it was not my place to assume a man’s religion based on his appearance, there are many Christian Indians and all other religions I’m sure, and besides, everyone knows what a hamburger is.  Beef.

I put the order in and went about my business.  I saw the order with four burgers go out and I waited a few minutes to check and see how the Yankee and the Hindus were doing with their burgers.  When I checked back, the American and two of the Indian men were well into their burgers when the fourth man, who had his burger pried open and dissected, asked me a question.

“I ordered ham, with cheese and mushrooms, is this ham?”

“No sir it’s beef but it’s called a HAMburger.” I tried to console as his Hindu stomach turned.  Both his friends stopped mid-bite.  I removed the plate and had the beef replaced by more mushrooms and cheese but the damage was done.  When I returned to the table, both men had removed the half eaten beef patty and tried to continue eating, clearly shaken.  The American was also missing; I did see him later at the bar drinking with friends, while the Indians sat, visibly sickened by the ignorant American's blatant lack of knowledge. 

As the men paid for the sacrilegious meal I felt bad, the ignorance of their American host clearly had tainted their journey to the tech capitol of the world.  I don’t know what the punishment may be or if it is even a big deal to Hindus, but there is something to be learned in this fast paced world of overnight travel, melting pots and business deals in regards to understanding differences.  The world is not America and the American way is just that.